Identity in SL

In my last “SL for newbies” post, I advised you not to worry too much about picking your avatar design during the registration process. Nothing wrong with going around in a newbie shape at first, but before long, you will want to personalize your appearance a bit.  And this really ties in to how you want to shape your identity in SL.

Speaking of identity, let me share with you the first bit of SL etiquette that you should learn.  Many people prefer to keep their RL (real life) and SL identity completely separate.  For that reason, when you first meet someone, do NOT launch into a lot of questions about their RL identity.  Even seemingly innocent questions such as “where are you in RL?” can make some people uncomfortable.  Respect this.  You can usually ask general questions, such as “what country are you in?,” but if they hesitate or ignore the question, back off and respect their wish for privacy.  This does NOT necessarily mean that they have “something to hide.”  It is really just a common desire in SL to keep their virtual experience separate from their day-to-day one.

You can choose to assume any sort of identity or appearance in SL that strikes your fancy.  You can create a look that mirrors your RL identity, or go for something completely different.  You are not bound by gender nor species.  You can be animal, vegetable or mineral here.  As a result, naturally, you can not make any assumptions about people based on their appearance.  This can be a very liberating experience for all concerned.  People tend to be very socialable in SL, and many report that they are more so in SL than in RL.  They are less self conscious about their appearance when they can fine tune it to project how they wish to be perceived.  This environment can also make other people are less intimidating to approach as well.  It really levels the social playing field, and opens up all sorts of opportunities to meet people that you might not have gotten an chance to meet in the non-virtual world.

Yes, you can assume another gender in SL.  Many people choose this option.  There is more of a trend for men to assume female avatars than for women to assume male ones.  There are a wide range of reasons that people choose to do this, and in my experience it has little correlation with one’s gender identity in RL.  Most of the women that I have met in SL that I know are men in RL are straight men who were just curious about how the “other half” lives.  And they have gotten some very useful insights this way!  I have met one man in SL who is a woman in RL.  He (I find it simplest to just refer to people by their SL gender) is in SL primarily for professional reasons, and reports that people tend to listen to him more when he presents a male avatar…  There is a very fertile field for sociological study in SL!  And of course, you can choose a non gender specific avatar.  Ok, now I’m going to backtrack a bit on my advice in my previous post about not worrying about what you will look like when you get here.  If you are planning on doing any gender switching here, you might want to pick a gender neutral name.  In a future post, I will address the topic of setting up your SL profile.  For now I will note that it is generally wise to mention your RL gender in your profile if you are presenting as the other gender in SL.  You will make friends here.  It is an accepted part of SL culture that you may be presenting yourself as another gender, so people won’t mind that you are doing so, but there is a strong chance that a good friend will feel deceived and betrayed if they find out down the road that you are another gender in RL.

There are wide variety of cultures within SL.  Rather than attempting to discuss them, I refer you to the excellent Second Life Wikia.  Members of these cultures may confine their activities to specific RP (role-playing) sims, or may choose to interact with the wider SL community in their chosen personas.

This brings me to the subject of role-playing within SL.  To oversimplify wildly, SL residents can be broken down into two groups: those who role-play in SL, and those who don’t.  Those whose sole interest in SL is as a gaming or role-playing platform may have little or no interest in presenting themselves in any way as they are in RL.  Those who approach SL as more of a social media network will tend to reveal more of their RL personalities within SL.  This is a fairly complex aspect of the SL experience, and I won’t attempt to get into the nuances of this here, aside to say that there are many points along the spectrum where any particular resident may wish to reside. Everyone has a right to have the SL experience that they choose, so each of these decisions is completely legitimate.  Just be aware of this, and don’t assume anything.  SL residents are generally upfront about this, so ask them about this if you are not sure about anything.

This is a huge topic, and I have really only scratched the surface.  Please add your own thoughts and experiences to the comments section here!